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Maintaining sanity when co-parenting with a toxic person

| Nov 19, 2019 | Child Custody |

Virginia co-parents who divorced in an amicable way face a variety of challenges because of the logistics of parenting children from two different households. The situation becomes even more complicated when one of the co-parents is a toxic person. Here are a few steps a co-parent can take to maintain their sanity while working with a toxic ex-spouse.

It may be helpful to acknowledge that an ex-spouse will likely do anything to push the other individual’s buttons. They may make false accusations, try to manipulate the other individual and hash out old problems from the marriage. However, successfully raising children after a divorce involves focusing on the best interests of the children. For the most part, the communication between the co-parents should be about parenting. It should be business-like and well-documented.

When an ex-spouse is especially toxic, communication may need to be done through email or a parenting portal. It may be necessary to block a toxic ex-spouse from social media. When the ex-spouse tries to challenge the individual’s resolve, they need to stand by the boundaries they have set.

In some cases, it is best to not engage with a difficult ex. Of course, communication will need to be done on behalf of the children. However, a person has the power and the right to choose how communication will take place. Some parents have established a delay time that they stick to unless communication is for an emergency. They could take one day to consider communication and decide how they will respond.

Some co-parents who are dealing with a toxic ex-spouse have constantly seen the ex-spouse barge through agreements or cross boundaries. A court order may be a good solution. In this situation, an attorney may be able to provide information about child custody and a modification of custody or parenting time in order to look out for the best interests of the child.